Rest to Reset: Overcoming the Should, Could, Would Guilt and Learning How to Play Again.

​It is incredibly difficult to pause our busy lives to rest. Our modern culture is all about pressing in, hustling, and being active, and what we should do, could do or would do.  We have no time, no room for breath and we are all utterly exhausted. Is that your story?

​         For many of us we have lost sight of how to rest our bodies and to reset. We are inclined to guilt and shame ourselves if others do not. Many of our life’s seasons are filled to the brim and we no longer stop long enough to smell the flowers bloom or listen to the rain fall. Many cultures outside of the American culture integrate a day of rest and worship. We can see those who are of different faiths Take a whole day off from working and striving. The Jewish culture celebrates Shabbos, The Christian culture utilizes the Sabbath, The Muslim culture does a day of communal prayer Jumu'ah. Many other cultures incorporate rest into their daily rituals such as siestas, Daily unplugging from social media and technology, power naps, or quiet time.

         We can learn a lot from the historical beliefs about rest and its importance for our health, resetting, and focusing on things that matter. But you may be asking yourself, How can I rest? I have so much to do! While that may be true, Think about what things would have to be in place for you to truly take a day off? How could taking a day off allow for you to slow down, be intentional and regroup before rejoining the rest of the world?
 
Benefits of Rest:

1. Energy- When we rest, energy can be restored to its full potential. While momentum and exercise create energy, there is a lot of value in a nap, a good night’s sleep or slow meaningful movement.
2. Healing- Rest can allow our bodies to heal themselves. If you think from the perspective of exercise, Rest days are necessary for muscles to rebuild. And one of the best muscles that needs rest, Your Brain! So much healing can happen when you get good sleep.
3. Manage Stress- Slowing down enough to rest and recharge, gives your brain a chance to process through stressors. ‘Whatever you resists persists’...
4. Rest to Digest- Good for your digestion. If you are eating slower and mindfully your body has time to process the food, send you the cues that you are full and more likely to digest your food versus when you are running and eating nonstop. This creates an upset for your stomach leading to indigestion.

 
So, if you are tired and exhausted from stress but have been avoiding instead of dealing with it... Slow down and rest so that it doesn’t persist.
 
Rest can come in many different forms. It could mean sleeping or napping. It also could be taking slow mindful walks, stretching, listening to calming music, reading a book, practicing mindful breathing exercises.
 
Rest can also be play. We all work very hard in our lives and often forget play is important. We typically associate play with childhood and children running on the playground at schools or a Saturday afternoon at the park on the jungle gym. While it is important for children to play and it enhances their learning, It also benefits adults as well. Play allows us to adapt to different social and ecological demands in our lifespan (Leeuwen & Westwood, 2008). If you think about how in your 20s going to a concert or club to go dancing stave off stress, you can see the importance of play in early adulthood. Think about play in adults in their 30s and 40s, this allows them to adapt to enjoy their children growing and building their sense of self but also for the adult to increase self-confidence. It allows also for exploration for adults who do not have children but need connection. Play is utmost important for older adults who are retired and no longer working. Their sense of self may be lacking especially since their 40 hour weeks are no longer filled by work. This allows for choice, autonomy, and outright fun!
 
Play can be defined as creativity, curiosity, pleasure, sense of humor and spontaneity. If you’re doing something with these ideas in mind you are on the right path for play and rest.  Play for adults could be anything from exercise, playing sports, hiking, camping, playing board games with friends of family. Play can also include things like trying to cook or bake a new recipe, learning to garden, playing with a pet, or sharing jokes with one another. Lubbers et al. (2023) Indicated that play promoted healthy engagement and relationships. Which ultimately lead to improved mental health.  Its ability to strengthen our ability to thrive, make meaning and build connections is something we all need in our modern world.
 
So if you have a lack of play in your life, Let’s look at 2 things you can do to stir creativity:
 

1. Journal and reflect on activities you once enjoyed. What things have you not done in awhile that you have the ability or access to do this week. Find one activity to do and schedule a date with yourself, your friends or family and do the activity. Play is beneficial even when we do it with others. It means are social needs way better than watching a tv show.
2. If you are all out of ideas or have forgotten what things could be fun. Google a list of hobbies or interests. Skim through the list and writing down the ones that stand out to you most. Some activities you may have to play for such as skiing or white water rafting, but you could easily go for a hike on a trail near you or play sand volleyball at a nearby park.

 
Whatever you choose to change it up from time to time. This will also allow for spontaneity and lessen boredom.  So, this week schedule one time to go do something for play and rest and encourage others to do the same. Your mental health counts on it.
 
 Still need help? Call us or Contact us on our contact page.
 
 
Lubbers, K., Cadwallader, J., Lin, Q., Clifford, C., & Frazier, L. D. (2023). Adult play and playfulness: A qualitative exploration of its meanings and importance. The Journal of Play in Adulthood, 5(2).
 
Van Leeuwen, L., & Westwood, D. (2008). Adult play, psychology and design. Digital Creativity, 19(3), 153-161.

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Aimee Rhodes, Ed.D., LPC-S

Aimee is a cofounder and owner of Transform & Renew, PLLC. She enjoys working in her garden, taking hikes and enjoying playing board games with friends and family.