Blog Archives

4/26/2024

The Scariest Day of the Week: Sunday —Because Monday is Coming. How to Combat The Sunday Blues.

I think I have the Sunday Blues or Scaries... What is it?
The Sunday Blues is a phenomenon where individuals feel downcast, irritable, dreadful and general unhappiness about the upcoming work week. The weekend never feels long enough and when Sunday rolls around, most people start thinking “oh my gosh, I can’t believe tomorrow is already Monday and I have to do it all over again”. These thoughts and emotions are what we causally call “Sunday Blues”.

Sunday blues is not a diagnosable condition in and of itself but this doesn’t mean that this isn’t a very real thing that people experience; just because this isn’t its own disorder should not discredit the validity of the people who say they struggle with it. Symptoms and feelings that are consistent with Sunday blues can be attributed to other diagnosable disorders, such as an “adjustment disorder” and that comes with either “anxious, depressed, or mixed anxious and depressed” mood.

An Adjustment Disorder is something that we diagnose an individual with when they have experienced any major change in the last 6 months, but doesn’t meet the full criteria for depression or anxiety. For example, I think we can all relate to being anxious and nervous before starting a new job; a new job is certainly an adjustment and can cause feelings of anxiety. Another example could be losing your job, one might feel depression-like symptoms after such an event, but not truly be depressed. These situations are classically “adjustment disorder” worthy.

So all of that said, what about the people who have been in their jobs for more than 6 months but still have these feelings?

Absolutely valid. I would want to look at the other things going on in that individual’s life, is their family member ill, did they just get a new dog, is their marriage going through a rough patch? In each of those examples, there are different reasons and motivations for a person to not want to go to work, like being emotionally exhausted from caring for someone or trying to fix your marriage, or maybe they just love their new puppy so much they can’t bear to leave them home alone. Whatever the reason may be, my point is that there may be additional factors that contribute to Sunday Blues and it could be considered an Adjustment Disorder.

How many people experience this? I feel a bit alone in this.

Roughly 80% of Americans say they have experienced Sunday Blues at some point in their life, but a staggering 90% of those people are either Gen Z or a millennial, according to a LinkedIn survey.

How do I overcome this? It's really getting in my way.

If this sounds like something you’ve experienced, evaluate your self care. Self care is anything you do for yourself that contributes to you feeling better. It might be easier to think of ourselves as though we have a tank, and in this tank is all of the energy we have to deal with life and the stresses that come with it. Throughout each day we experience things that drain our tank; if we don’t do things to counteract that draining, the tank will quickly become depleted and you’re left feeling irritable, overwhelmed, exhausted, just not in a good mood, and like you can’t handle anything else. So self-care is anything that helps fill that tank back up, and that looks different for everyone! Self-care could be getting a workout in, meditating, eating right, taking a bath with all the bubbles and bath salts, praying, reading a book, etc. It’s the epitome of “treat yourself”, but it doesn’t require all the money.

When people properly and frequently engage in self-care, they are much less likely to report experiencing the negative feelings that I just mentioned and they feel like their stress has been reduced (even if the stressful things haven’t gone away). In a national survey, 64% of Americans actually reported self care as helping them enhance self-confidence, 67% said it helped them increase productivity, and 71% reported increased happiness. From a physical health perspective, self-care also reduces heart disease, stroke and cancer. So, if you get one big takeaway from this, let it be to engage in self-care!

Another way to help the Sunday Blues go away is cognitive reframing, and this is a clinical way of saying “view it from an alternative perception”. Kind of like “view the cup as half full and as not half empty”. Now obviously there's a lot more that goes into cognitive reframing than just positive thinking, and a mental health professional can really help with this. But if you’re wanting to tackle this on your own, try to change the way you think about Sundays. Maybe make Sunday’s your day, make it to where it’s something you look forward to all week: make plans with friends, binge that show you’ve been putting off, spend time with family, do whatever you need so that you can look forward to it.

If that still doesn’t do it for you, I encourage you to take some time and reflect on what you’re actually on edge about. Ask yourself, “why am I feeling this way? What am I dreading about Monday/this week?” If you can narrow it down, you can start to make a plan for how you want to handle that situation. Feeling equipped to handle the week, and not just the tasks that you’re required to complete at work or school, can really help reduce, or even almost eliminate, the anxiety you might feel about it.
If all else fails, seek the care of a mental health professional. Everyone goes through stages in life where it just gets hard to manage on your own, and there doesn’t need to be any shame in that. If you start to think that you could be in that season of life, reach out for help.

Still need help? Contact us on our home page at 210-201-4578

(2021, January 14). Vagaro survey finds three-quarters of Americans believe Self-Care activities provide stress relief. Vargo. https://www.vagaro.com/news/press-release/survey-finds-three-quarters-of-americans-believe-self-care-activities-provide-stress-relief

Kendra Smith, NCC, LPC Associate

Kendra see's clients in person and virtual in San Antonio TX. Kendra enjoys her dogs and marvel comics. She's supervised by Elizabeth Oldham, LPC-S

4/25/2024

Rest to Reset: Overcoming the Should, Could, Would Guilt and Learning How to Play Again.

A male and female couple playing tug of war in a local park on a sunny day.

It is incredibly difficult to pause our busy lives to rest. Our modern culture is all about pressing in, hustling, and being active, and what we should do, could do or would do. We have no time, no room for breath and we are all utterly exhausted. Is that your story?

For many of us we have lost sight of how to rest our bodies and to reset. We are inclined to guilt and shame ourselves if others do not. Many of our life’s seasons are filled to the brim and we no longer stop long enough to smell the flowers bloom or listen to the rain fall. Many cultures outside of the American culture integrate a day of rest and worship. We can see those who are of different faiths Take a whole day off from working and striving. The Jewish culture celebrates Shabbos, The Christian culture utilizes the Sabbath, The Muslim culture does a day of communal prayer Jumu'ah. Many other cultures incorporate rest into their daily rituals such as siestas, Daily unplugging from social media and technology, power naps, or quiet time.

We can learn a lot from the historical beliefs about rest and its importance for our health, resetting, and focusing on things that matter. But you may be asking yourself, How can I rest? I have so much to do! While that may be true, Think about what things would have to be in place for you to truly take a day off? How could taking a day off allow for you to slow down, be intentional and regroup before rejoining the rest of the world?

Benefits of Rest:

Energy- When we rest, energy can be restored to its full potential. While momentum and exercise create energy, there is a lot of value in a nap, a good night’s sleep or slow meaningful movement.
Healing- Rest can allow our bodies to heal themselves. If you think from the perspective of exercise, Rest days are necessary for muscles to rebuild. And one of the best muscles that needs rest, Your Brain! So much healing can happen when you get good sleep.
Manage Stress- Slowing down enough to rest and recharge, gives your brain a chance to process through stressors. ‘Whatever you resists persists’...
Rest to Digest- Good for your digestion. If you are eating slower and mindfully your body has time to process the food, send you the cues that you are full and more likely to digest your food versus when you are running and eating nonstop. This creates an upset for your stomach leading to indigestion.

So, if you are tired and exhausted from stress but have been avoiding instead of dealing with it... Slow down and rest so that it doesn’t persist.

Rest can come in many different forms. It could mean sleeping or napping. It also could be taking slow mindful walks, stretching, listening to calming music, reading a book, practicing mindful breathing exercises.

Rest can also be play. We all work very hard in our lives and often forget play is important. We typically associate play with childhood and children running on the playground at schools or a Saturday afternoon at the park on the jungle gym. While it is important for children to play and it enhances their learning, It also benefits adults as well. Play allows us to adapt to different social and ecological demands in our lifespan (Leeuwen & Westwood, 2008). If you think about how in your 20s going to a concert or club to go dancing stave off stress, you can see the importance of play in early adulthood. Think about play in adults in their 30s and 40s, this allows them to adapt to enjoy their children growing and building their sense of self but also for the adult to increase self-confidence. It allows also for exploration for adults who do not have children but need connection. Play is utmost important for older adults who are retired and no longer working. Their sense of self may be lacking especially since their 40 hour weeks are no longer filled by work. This allows for choice, autonomy, and outright fun!

Play can be defined as creativity, curiosity, pleasure, sense of humor and spontaneity. If you’re doing something with these ideas in mind you are on the right path for play and rest. Play for adults could be anything from exercise, playing sports, hiking, camping, playing board games with friends of family. Play can also include things like trying to cook or bake a new recipe, learning to garden, playing with a pet, or sharing jokes with one another. Lubbers et al. (2023) Indicated that play promoted healthy engagement and relationships. Which ultimately lead to improved mental health. Its ability to strengthen our ability to thrive, make meaning and build connections is something we all need in our modern world.

So if you have a lack of play in your life, Let’s look at 2 things you can do to stir creativity:

Journal and reflect on activities you once enjoyed. What things have you not done in awhile that you have the ability or access to do this week. Find one activity to do and schedule a date with yourself, your friends or family and do the activity. Play is beneficial even when we do it with others. It means are social needs way better than watching a tv show.
If you are all out of ideas or have forgotten what things could be fun. Google a list of hobbies or interests. Skim through the list and writing down the ones that stand out to you most. Some activities you may have to play for such as skiing or white water rafting, but you could easily go for a hike on a trail near you or play sand volleyball at a nearby park.

Whatever you choose to change it up from time to time. This will also allow for spontaneity and lessen boredom. So, this week schedule one time to go do something for play and rest and encourage others to do the same. Your mental health counts on it.

Still need help? Call us or Contact us on our contact page.

Lubbers, K., Cadwallader, J., Lin, Q., Clifford, C., & Frazier, L. D. (2023). Adult play and playfulness: A qualitative exploration of its meanings and importance. The Journal of Play in Adulthood, 5(2).

Van Leeuwen, L., & Westwood, D. (2008). Adult play, psychology and design. Digital Creativity, 19(3), 153-161.

Aimee Rhodes, Ed.D., LPC-S

Aimee is a cofounder and owner of Transform & Renew, PLLC. She enjoys working in her garden, taking hikes and enjoying playing board games with friends and family.

Authors

Elizabeth Oldham is an LPC-S and co-founder of Transform & Renew, PLLC. She specializes in co-dependency, anxiety and OCD, depression and mood disorders.

Aimee Rhodes, Doctorate in Education, Global Training and Development and LPC-S is a cofounder of Transform & Renew, PLLC. She specializes in mood disorders, relationship trauma and grief.

Ariana Hernandez, student counselor at Sul Ross State University is supervised by Aimee Rhodes, LPC-S. Ariana enjoys working with teens and adults facing life adjustment, depression, anxiety and other mood related issues.

Staci is supervised by Elizabeth Oldham, LPC-S. Staci is an Associate who is a parent, a writer, compassionate counselor who enjoys working with adults in all phases of life but has a deep passion for older adults facing life's challenges in the second half of life.

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The Scariest Day of the Week: Sunday —Because Monday is Coming. How to Combat The Sunday Blues.

Kendra Smith, NCC, LPC Associate

Rest to Reset: Overcoming the Should, Could, Would Guilt and Learning How to Play Again.

Aimee Rhodes, Ed.D., LPC-S

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